Wow. it feels like forever since I have been on this. So so so much has changed. It would take me yonks to explain everything. So I'll skip straight to now.
Right now I'm sat here on my laptop just feeling down in the dumps. Generally I am a happy person, but since about 3 hours ago I have been feeling down. Im not going into full details, because you'll all look at me like im crazy.
Basically, have you ever had that feeling where you really want something, but cant have it? So have I. What about wanting someone, but knowing you could never have them? That's what I am feeling right now. I mean, I knew it at the start, but I just cant stop thinking about it now. It's greatly frustrating, because there is nothing you can do. Me and my friend have the same problem, Im not even going in to details, its just embarrassing, and its not what you think it is. 'she likes someone and she cant get them because he's out of her league' it does involve a guy but there is so much more to it. I wish I could tell you, but it's to hard to explain. This though, this feeling is horrid. I wish for once, it would go right, but it won't. I cant have him due to the circumstances. Many circumstances, and it hurts. What is even the point in liking someone, knowing you can never have them. Unfortunetley it's easier said than done. You don't choose who you like, and it sucks because sometimes I wish I could turn off my feelings. This is the first person I have liked in ages, and no one can know because it's stupid. If you're reading this, you're probably jumping to conclusions about the circumstances.You'll never get it, so dont bother. It's fun laughing with my friend about him, and getting all excited when we see him, but I do look foward to the day where I just look at him like I look at everyone else, because then I wont feel like I do now. I dont even know if I should post this, it's nice to put your feelings down, but posting it to the world wont help any problems. Im still single, and that doesnt bother me too much, Im a picky person, so I rarely fancy people, so this is odd for me. It's gone from appriciating his attractiveness to obsession, which scares me. I scare myself sometimes.
